I’m Not That Kind of Therapist: When Clients Ask for Homework

I have a confession to make:

I’m not really a homework therapist.

Some clients love homework.

They want worksheets.They want journal prompts.They want a list of things to practice between sessions.They want something tangible to take home and check off before they come back.

And honestly? I love that about them.

Recently, I was reminded that some people genuinely thrive when therapy gives them something concrete to work on between sessions. They want structure, accountability, and a sense that they are actively moving toward a goal.

But that doesn't mean every client needs homework.

And that's where my approach to therapy may be a little different.

Therapy isn't school

I don't believe therapy should feel like another class you have to pass.

You already have enough responsibilities.

Work. Relationships. Children. Family. Bills. Appointments. Health issues. Stress. Grief. Trauma. The never-ending list of things that life asks of you.

Sometimes the last thing you need is another worksheet.

Sometimes you need a place where you can finally stop doing.

You can sit down.

Take a breath.

Talk.

Cry.

Be angry.

Think.

Make sense of something that has never made sense before.

And maybe, for one hour, you don't have to accomplish anything.

But sometimes homework is exactly what you need

Here's the important part:

I'm not anti-homework.

If you tell me, "I really want something to work on between sessions," I'm listening.

Maybe you want to practice setting boundaries.

Maybe you want to notice your triggers.

Maybe you want to work on changing a thought pattern.

Maybe you want to journal.

Maybe you want to practice grounding techniques.

Maybe you want to intentionally do something that brings you joy.

If homework helps you engage with therapy, I'm happy to incorporate it.

The difference is that I don't believe homework should be assigned simply because that's what a therapist is "supposed" to do.

You are the expert on you

My job isn't to give you a stack of assignments and send you home to complete them.

My job is to help you understand yourself.

Together, we can identify patterns, explore where those patterns came from, develop new skills, process difficult experiences, and figure out what actually works for you.

Sometimes that means homework.

Sometimes it means a conversation.

Sometimes it means EMDR.

Sometimes it means sitting with an emotion you've spent years avoiding.

Sometimes it means laughing about something that seemed impossible to laugh about six months ago.

And sometimes the most therapeutic thing we can do is recognize that you survived something difficult and give yourself permission to rest.

Therapy should fit the client—not the other way around

There isn't one right way to do therapy.

Some clients want homework.

Some don't.

Some want lots of structure.

Some need space to figure out what they actually want from therapy.

Some want practical tools.

Others need to process before they're ready to do anything differently.

My philosophy is simple:

Therapy should be collaborative.

You aren't a project for me to fix.

You're a person sitting across from me with your own history, strengths, experiences, goals, and understanding of your life.

We start there.

So if you're the person who loves a good therapy worksheet, don't worry—I can work with you.

And if you're the person who hears the word homework and immediately wants to run out of the therapy office...

You're probably going to like my approach.

Because therapy isn't about giving you more work to do.

It's about helping you build a life that feels more like your own.